I enjoyed it Nic, please continue writing articles.
I'm Spanish and living in London, I'm also self employed. I used to work for big companies as contractor but since covid I had to reinvent myself and started working with small clients.
How is it freelancing in my country? I know some people who are self employed there and they always complain about tax. I feel your pain about bureaucracy, it's a nightmare.
Regarding banks, why don't you give a try to N26 or Bnext? You can sign up quickly from your phone and these are accounts that you can use to get paid and pay bills.